She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
