I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She's the barista slut.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
