There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just tell him i said nine months
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
