Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
