My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize