Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
