Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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