this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
