There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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