Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
