You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
