I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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