just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
