i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
