I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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