Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
