id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
