soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
