True but thats because hes a fetus.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
