Your tits are I can't wait for
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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