How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
