Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i love accidental penises.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
