his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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