I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
