I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
