i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
