it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love having hate sex.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
