She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
how drunk are you?
Several
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
