I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
