all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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