is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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