I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
