thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
