You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
