Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
