chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
