wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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