THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
