i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
either way he was missing a nipple.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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