Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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