they need to just BURY HIM!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
