I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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