google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Help. Why am I so naked?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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