the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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