so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
