she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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