You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
