his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
