if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
