I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
