It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize