Cold hands, warm shart.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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