Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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