i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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