I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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