i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize