im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
