last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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