who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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