i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize