Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
