i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
