My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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