I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
