my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
honey bunches of taint.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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